Would You Spend $10,000+ to Elope?

Photo Credit: Jose Villa

Elaborate elopements—costing anywhere from $10,000 to $100,000—are on the rise, according to a new article in the New York Times. Couples are choosing to avoid hosting guests in favor of glorified photo shoots that capture just the two of them. Picture: fantasy settings (farmhouse, mountaintop ice skating rink, private riverboat), fairytale elements (setting off sparklers, hiring flower girls to carry lanterns), and even a miniature three-layer cake to top off the celebration. Of course, all this would not be possible without a small army of wedding pros, who are there to capture the entire spectacle; not for children and grandkids down the road, but for digital bragging rites, admittedly.

Many couples elope because they can’t deal with the emotional and financial stress of planning a full-scale wedding, or they want to whittle down all of the superficial details to focus on what really matters—entering this joyous stage of life as husband-and-wife. Most of the brides quoted in the Times article referenced these traditional reasons for eloping. One commented, "There wasn’t a distant cousin or mother or girlfriend there adding stress” at her wedding while another said, "We [she and her husband] were driving around that morning, saying ‘Isn’t it amazing how nothing can go wrong?’" 

But one bride, Shalini Carbone, told NYT that "The visual aspects were especially important for me, since our family wasn’t there with us. I wanted someone else to be the eyes for our friends and family." This begs the question...does the need for visual consumption shatter all of the worthwhile reasons for eloping and present a new, selfish one: I’m eloping without guests so that I can afford to have my perfect wedding and show it off to the world? The article argues that some brides feel they shouldn't shell out for a "rubber chicken dinner for Aunt Beatrice from Tuscaloosa," when they can spend those funds on the pageantry of the wedding, instead.

I’m a bride-to-be and a wedding addict guilty of perusing the types of blogs these elopers are trying to emulate. If you’re a loyal BG reader, you’ve probably even seen evidence of these stylized shoots on BridalGuide.com here, here and here. However, there’s a slippery slope between finding inspiration and losing your grip on reality, just for the sake of creating your Dream Day (trust me, I’ve been there). 

Tell us: Would you rather spend $20,000 on your dream wedding look, or lower your expectations to spend that same money on 200 of your nearest and dearest?

— Stefania Sainato