Preparing for the Unexpected

Of all decisions a bride has to make, canceling her wedding is definitely the scariest and hardest.The details are too personal and painful for me to reveal here, but suffice it to say, my wedding has been put on hold indefinitely. Time, money and emotions are all spent lavishly on any wedding and so before I end "My Big Fat Indian Wedding," I want to share some advice on how to handle the complexities of a canceled wedding.

I contacted Mallavika Shah of Contemporary Creations in Edison, New Jersey, a wedding planner/decorator specializing in South Asian weddings, for her advice on how to cancel your vendors and any other services you’ve secured for your wedding.

Make sure you know exactly what the cancellation policy is. Discuss cancellation and refund policies extensively with your vendors so there are no surprises. Wedding planners usually take half the amount when the contract is initially signed and the remaining half two to three months before the event. Once the wedding is paid in full, it may be hard to get most of your money back since the wedding planner has most likely booked the flowers, manpower and rental equipment, and bought vases and flowers, etc., which makes it harder to give the client a refund.

Negotiate the cancellation policy, in the event of a serious incident. Cancellation policies are usually non-negotiable but in the case of a death or something equally traumatic, you might be able work out something more favorable. Personally, I would only refund the whole amount in the case of the demise of the bride or groom. But, for any other death in the family, I'd only give back half the amount. Try talking to your vendors and see what you can work out since it all depends on the relationship and the seriousness of the cancellation issue.

Try selling back to the seller instead of your wedding planner or decorator. Brides who have purchased favors (without inscriptions or personalizations) can try to return them to the seller, directly. Candles, votives, fabric, tablecloths, overlays, chair bows, backdrops, tulle, silk flowers, cake knives, servers, chargers, turbans, stoles and any other decorative items the bride may have purchased for the event can be sold to any decorator since they are constantly purchasing these items, anyway. It’s even better if you can make an agreement to sell all your items to one person or company.

Request the vendor to put the deposit toward a different date, if the bride and groom are still getting married, later on. You might lose as much as 20 percent of the total amount, but most vendors would happily agree to put your deposit toward a future date.

Graciously apologize to your guests. Send a thank-you card, a small box of sweets or even a small gift. Many of your guests might have canceled their travel plans or other important events to make time for your wedding and you should be considerate.

Finally, don’t stress. Go away on a small vacation, which will relieve stress and anxiety. The attitude that whatever happens, happens for the best, will keep the spirits high, no matter how difficult things seem.