Photo: Alex Mari via Wild Hearts Events
Remember: terminology is important. "When creating an intimate wedding day, terminology becomes very important. Do you plan to get married in a deeply intimate setting with only the two of you and your officiant? Congratulations! This is officially an 'elopement.' If you plan to host a slightly larger group composed of your parents, siblings, and a few friends, this is officially referred to as an intimate wedding or a micro-wedding. Make sure that you and your betrothed are on the same page when you describe your perfect day to one another, and this begins with establishing how intimate you want this milestone to be." —Mandy Connor, Owner, Hummingbird Events & Design
Be selective from the start. "Guest lists can balloon very quickly. You may start with your parents and siblings, but add in sibling significant others, children, and you'll quickly find yourself at 15-25 guests, which may feel less intimate than you originally planned. While paring down the guest list may seem like an impossible task, it's important to remember that once the floodgates are opened, it's impossible to close them again. Make careful determinations regarding who is allowed into your inner circle." —Mandy Connor, Owner, Hummingbird Events & Design
Photo: Alex Mari via Wild Heart Events
Ask the hard questions. "I suggest starting with a list of everyone you'd invite to your wedding if there were no limits (within reason), then narrowing it down. When making cuts, ask yourself questions like, 'Would I be upset if I looked into the crowd on my wedding day and did not see this person's face?' 'Do I see this friendship/relationship in my life for years to come?' 'Would I be upset if the tables were turned and I did not make the cut for this person's intimate wedding?' Make sure your guest list is full of people who deserve to be there — picture yourself at the altar looking out at the small crowd of loved ones; who do you see?" —Haydon Dillon, Haydon Dillon Events
Photo: Alex Mari via Wild Heart Events
Think of who has supported your relationship. "Guest lists are difficult and always the biggest headache that my clients will encounter. They always snowball, and trying to ensure single guests receive a plus one can result in a much larger guest count than you were initially anticipating. I always tell clients to start first with those that have known and helped support your relationship before you were married. This list is usually family and close friends, which typically makes up a perfectly intimate guest list with little thought." —Ashley Lachney, Owner, Alston Mayger Events
Honesty is key! "Open honesty prevents hurt feelings. If you intend to host an intimate wedding with a carefully curated guest list, be open and honest about your intentions with those around you. While you are not obligated to explain your wishes to others, it is helpful to share your intentions with those around you to prevent hurt feelings. There will always be a few friends or family members who assume they will 'make the cut' and who may feel excluded if they aren't invited. Drafting a scripted response with your spouse-to-be will empower you to share your intentions with others in a clear way." —Mandy Connor, Owner, Hummingbird Events & Design
Be consistent. "Sit down with your fiancé and parents and create groups of people, such as best friends, immediate family, extended family, and so on. Then be consistent with inviting each level of groups on each side. Don't invite cousins on one side but not on the other and vice versa. This not only gives you a guide as to who to include and how, it gives you an out if questioned why an invite was not received." —Valarie Falvey, Kirkbrides
Photo: All the Little Stories via Hummingbird Events & Design
Think into the future. "When creating a guest list for an intimate wedding, the best advice I've heard is 'invite the people you know are going to be in your children's lives when you start your family.' This really shifts it into perspective of which guests are the most impactful in your relationship together and who you know will be around for the long haul." —Casey Stamouli, Owner & Lead Planner, Casey & Co. Events
Skip the bridal party. "Skip the bridal party altogether or possibly have just one person on each side. If you're trying to keep it intimate, having fivepeople on each side of the bridal party is silly." —Valarie Falvey, Kirkbrides
Photo: Amanda Vaelynn via Alston Mayger Events
Think of who has had an impact on your life. "Your wedding day tends to be one of the few days in your lifetime that all of your favorite people will be in one place at the same time. With a more intimate group of guests, it's more likely that you'll have the opportunity to engage on a deeper level with each attendee, making your celebration even more special! As you craft your guest list, think of the people who have had an immeasurable impact on you as a person or couple. Of course, immediate family and best friends will top the list — but what about the people who lifted you up as you made big life changes or who supported your relationship when things seemed challenging? Fill the seats at your table(s) with individuals whose presence in your life have made an impression you couldn't live without, and you will surely feel the love on your big day." —Alexandra Denniston, Owner & Lead Planner, Eventlightenment Planning
Photo: All the Little Stories via Hummingbird Events & Design
Focus on who you spend the most time with. "I know that the invite list can be controversial, but when you are limiting the number of attendees, focus on the people you spend the most time with. If you haven't seen them in person in the past 18 months, they don't need to be on your guest list. Also prioritize close friends and family over work acquaintances or invites that feel obligatory." —Jaime Kostechko, Wild Heart Events
Photo: Amanda Vaelynn via Alston Mayger Events
